hot dogs or legs
I live in a fairly unfortunate part of town and often find weird characters roaming around especially since we live down the road from a liquor store and 50 cent pop machine. One day as a I was upstairs I heard a bunch of sirens and a bunch of cop cars go passed my window so naturally I ran outside on my porch to see what was going on. Right down the street I see three cop cars pull over an explorer. I was pretty entranced and barely noticed the large white ginger woman tramping down the sidewalk with a car seat baby and two little girls. She yells screaming “watch my kids watch my kids please!”
“Sure?” That is all I could mutter out. So as I sit on my porch watching a carseat mallato baby and two little girls mallato girls more children begin to come.
“Why you with that girl?” “Shaylee, Shaylee why you with that girl?” Little white boy on bicycle.
“Its okay mom knows her. She knows you right?” Little mallato girl.
“No, but its okay want to play a board game?” That’s all I could think to say to keep the kids calm while her mom pleads with the now six cop cars full of officers to let her grab another one of her babies out of the car that got pulled over.
Number on random kids on porch: 5
As the number keeps rising, another boy walks up to my porch and asks where everyone is.
I said, ” playing Dogopoly” Its like monopoly but dog themed.
Thirty minutes later….
The girls have been having fun telling me stories like “oh this always happens” “Dad is going away for awhile”
I just realized I became a part of a crime.
The ginger mother comes back to thank me for watching her clan and asks to use a cellphone. I assume because she doesn’t own one. or maybe that She is so traumatized by what happened that she wanted help.
No. She calls her friend and tells her that she got all the drugs they pulled over Tyrese and got all the drugs. She then proceeds to ask me legal advice about if they can just pull him over. All the time insisting that the white powder on her shirt is pancake mix and its all her fault this started. Apparently they were down the road at the BK and she brought up that he was hooking up with this skinny bitch, all the while all these kids are in the car, and he got mad threw pancake bags at her and took off. But someone called the cops because the BK people thought it was a domestic. She continues to tell me he didn’t hit her but the little mallato girl rolls her eyes in an apparent “lol”.
Instead of being upset at the fact that now seven cop cars are patrolling by sidewalk looking for drugs the driver may have tossed out. She is concerned that they found the money that was in the explorer. She then tells her friend she should come and that they are going to search her house so they should toss the weed in the river. “Do you want some do you smoke weed?” she tells me as her kids sit on her lap.
” Oh. I’m good”
“Okay ill toss it in the river. Oh fuck oh fuck I have some on me right now can you take it??! They might search me.”
Before I could say anything she hoovers low to the ground, unbuttons her pants, and pulls out a little baggy of weed out of her crouch area. She, being her sly self, decides its too unsafe to slide me the bag on the porch so she grabs a clean diaper, shoves the baggy in there and slides the diaper to me. So nothing would look suspicious.
A lady eventually came and got all the kids, the lady left and no one asked us anything about what happened. We still smoked the weed but told others we threw it away because they probably thought it would be weird.
Killer whale penis
Tonight Kwee-Kwee and I wanted to try the new Insomnia cookie place in town. On the way driving back I got a super bad stomach ache so we parked and I told Kwee-kwee I have to make myself throw up because it hurt so bad, But I was too scared to do it by myself. So Kwee-Kwee said she would make herself throw up with me. As we stood out there at night, throwing up next to my house together, I realized she was a pretty special friend to have.